It was August 9th, 2005, a day which will live somewhere between infamy and completely forgettable, depending on whether you know how to use a computer, have learned to read, and whether you practice reading things while on your computer. It was on this date way back then around 3:00 in the afternoon that the Internet got its first taste of what would soon become its favorite dish: the Skip Walker surprise. Hailing from relative obscurity, it didn't take long after the first update was posted for fans to catch "Walker fever" and before I could even count to some number higher than 4,000, at least five people knew who he was. Rave reviews in the form of absolutely no feedback whatsoever began pouring in and the rest is history.
If you've been around these parts long enough, Skip Walker really needs no introduction and yet, he gets one every time. I've written a large number of articles about his exploits and he's contributed his fair share of submissions, but like all good things to come from Pollestad.Net -- OK, the only good thing to come from Pollestad.Net -- once you're famous, there are probably a million other, better outlets for your talent. As such, he doesn't stop by the P.Net campus much anymore and has moved on to writing daily updates on his Facebook and Twitter feeds. That would be perfectly acceptable behavior if we were getting some kind of kick back or royalties but since we're not, it only seems fair to co-opt what he's doing over there and use it over here also. (When he supplies a DMCA notice, we'll cease and possibly desist.)
But before you get all high and mighty and say, "Oh, so this is just going to be an update full of recycled material," let me stop you by saying that you're only 78% right. While yes, I am taking the best of what he has already posted over there and re-using it here, I'm also adding a bunch of new, exclusive stuff that no one has ever seen before for the purposes of making it worth your while. Plus, not everyone is everywhere or reads everything so maybe this is new to them. Whatever. The point is, if you were a true fan, you'd be liking/following Skip Walker in all available formats, so if you haven't done so already, go follow the links above and do your thing. We seriously have to stop meeting like this.
Skip Walker is quickly becoming a household name, especially in households that contain someone named "Skip Walker." Skip Walker grew up living on a fault line and people say he came from a broken home. Skip Walker is his own adopted son. When Skip Walker was younger, he yearned to be a dermatologist. Unfortunately, his desire was only skip deep. One time, Skip Walker stopped in the name of love and caused a five car pile-up on the freeway. Skip Walker replaced his windshield with an American flag and he's homeward bound. Skip Walker is a professional driver on a closed course and he's putting monster truck tires on his Prius. Skip Walker is nature's safest greenhouse gas.
Skip Walker fully supports the atmosphere's life choices because he is environmentally friendly. Skip Walker has a little Captain Planet in him. Skip Walker is not afraid to get drunk and pass out on your lawn, just to prove his point about the Civil War. Skip Walker is seceding from the plumber's union. One time, Skip Walker put all his eggs in the same basket. It worked out fine. Skip Walker only borrows money from pessimists because they never expect to be repaid. Skip Walker is just another word for nothing left to lose. Skip Walker is making a bucket list and putting "mop" and "rusty" right at the top. Skip Walker knows five languages and they all sound the same.
Skip Walker has a plan to end racial intolerance in this country and it involves otter pops. Skip Walker is a famous DJ who is spinning 8-track tapes at your local disco. Skip Walker is barely stayin' alive due to a serious case of Saturday Night Fever. Skip Walker is wearing his t-shirt inside out because he doesn't have to explain himself to you. Skip Walker is happy, knows it, and refuses to clap his hands. Skip Walker is opening a slow oil change business and you can have your car back in a few days. Skip Walker loves laundering money but at $1 per load, it gets expensive. Skip Walker gets upset before things happen to him. Doctors have diagnosed it as pre-traumatic stress syndrome. Skip Walker looks at the world through Skip Walker-colored glasses.
Skip Walker is a lot like shooting fish in a barrel in that they both are like what the hell this doesn't even make sense. Skip Walker put his cell phone inside a syringe and now he's calling all the shots. Skip Walker ain't afraid of no ghost but he is occasionally afraid of using proper English to talk about how tough he is. Skip Walker sometimes smokes oil prices because he likes to be high for no good reason. Skip Walker is going back to the future but with his front pointed sideways. Yesterday, Skip Walker wrote a song about a fishing net. It's a pretty catchy tune. Skip Walker is lip-syncing slow jams to help get you in the mood. Skip Walker is pouring his drink in your lap and now you're all wet "down there." Skip Walker wants to hold your hand, gently stroke your back and casually mention that you have something stuck in your teeth. Skip Walker likes to take long, romantic walks to the drive-through window. Skip Walker is hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, trying to hollar at you. Skip Walker is going to start calling you by your new nickname, "Skip Walker."
Skip Walker is often accused of shifting blame to others but it's really not his fault. Skip Walker gets knocked down but he gets up again. Assuming he wasn't injured in the original fall. Skip Walker is keeping secrets from his watch because he forgot how to tell time. Skip Walker is done pretending and he's moving on to posttending. Skip Walker is creating a new online persona, which is a sassy black woman with the catch-phrase "corn fritters!" Skip Walker is going on vacation next door. Skip Walker is like, you know, planning on like visiting the Valley one day. Skip Walker used to play for the WNBA, back when they allowed men to join. Skip Walker is the guy yelling "get in the hole" right after every putt during a PGA event. Skip Walker will drive you to drink but he won't pick you up afterward. Skip Walker speaks with translucent words and you can see right through his lies. Skip Walker will tell your dry cleaner anything he wants to hear just to get into your pants.
Skip Walker has a hat made out of gold and it is weighing heavily on his mind. Skip Walker will sometimes talk about himself behind his back. Skip Walker is providing scuba gear to diver scallops and hoping for the best. Skip Walker is rocking out in a house made of granite. Skip Walker refuses to throw glass in his stone house. Skip Walker keeps his game stalag-tight. One time, Skip Walker made a bed out of patience and now he is lying in wait. Skip Walker noticed that his closet floor has some clothes that are off the hook. Skip Walker is a puzzle, for ages 3 and up. Skip Walker looks at himself in the mirror every day and simply says, "Yes." Skip Walker watches porn movies for the intricate and complex story lines. There is something about Skip Walker that just feels right. Skip Walker has made you some cookies and they are available here.
If you've been around these parts long enough, Skip Walker really needs no introduction and yet, he gets one every time. I've written a large number of articles about his exploits and he's contributed his fair share of submissions, but like all good things to come from Pollestad.Net -- OK, the only good thing to come from Pollestad.Net -- once you're famous, there are probably a million other, better outlets for your talent. As such, he doesn't stop by the P.Net campus much anymore and has moved on to writing daily updates on his Facebook and Twitter feeds. That would be perfectly acceptable behavior if we were getting some kind of kick back or royalties but since we're not, it only seems fair to co-opt what he's doing over there and use it over here also. (When he supplies a DMCA notice, we'll cease and possibly desist.)
But before you get all high and mighty and say, "Oh, so this is just going to be an update full of recycled material," let me stop you by saying that you're only 78% right. While yes, I am taking the best of what he has already posted over there and re-using it here, I'm also adding a bunch of new, exclusive stuff that no one has ever seen before for the purposes of making it worth your while. Plus, not everyone is everywhere or reads everything so maybe this is new to them. Whatever. The point is, if you were a true fan, you'd be liking/following Skip Walker in all available formats, so if you haven't done so already, go follow the links above and do your thing. We seriously have to stop meeting like this.
Skip Walker is quickly becoming a household name, especially in households that contain someone named "Skip Walker." Skip Walker grew up living on a fault line and people say he came from a broken home. Skip Walker is his own adopted son. When Skip Walker was younger, he yearned to be a dermatologist. Unfortunately, his desire was only skip deep. One time, Skip Walker stopped in the name of love and caused a five car pile-up on the freeway. Skip Walker replaced his windshield with an American flag and he's homeward bound. Skip Walker is a professional driver on a closed course and he's putting monster truck tires on his Prius. Skip Walker is nature's safest greenhouse gas.
Skip Walker fully supports the atmosphere's life choices because he is environmentally friendly. Skip Walker has a little Captain Planet in him. Skip Walker is not afraid to get drunk and pass out on your lawn, just to prove his point about the Civil War. Skip Walker is seceding from the plumber's union. One time, Skip Walker put all his eggs in the same basket. It worked out fine. Skip Walker only borrows money from pessimists because they never expect to be repaid. Skip Walker is just another word for nothing left to lose. Skip Walker is making a bucket list and putting "mop" and "rusty" right at the top. Skip Walker knows five languages and they all sound the same.
Skip Walker has a plan to end racial intolerance in this country and it involves otter pops. Skip Walker is a famous DJ who is spinning 8-track tapes at your local disco. Skip Walker is barely stayin' alive due to a serious case of Saturday Night Fever. Skip Walker is wearing his t-shirt inside out because he doesn't have to explain himself to you. Skip Walker is happy, knows it, and refuses to clap his hands. Skip Walker is opening a slow oil change business and you can have your car back in a few days. Skip Walker loves laundering money but at $1 per load, it gets expensive. Skip Walker gets upset before things happen to him. Doctors have diagnosed it as pre-traumatic stress syndrome. Skip Walker looks at the world through Skip Walker-colored glasses.
Skip Walker is a lot like shooting fish in a barrel in that they both are like what the hell this doesn't even make sense. Skip Walker put his cell phone inside a syringe and now he's calling all the shots. Skip Walker ain't afraid of no ghost but he is occasionally afraid of using proper English to talk about how tough he is. Skip Walker sometimes smokes oil prices because he likes to be high for no good reason. Skip Walker is going back to the future but with his front pointed sideways. Yesterday, Skip Walker wrote a song about a fishing net. It's a pretty catchy tune. Skip Walker is lip-syncing slow jams to help get you in the mood. Skip Walker is pouring his drink in your lap and now you're all wet "down there." Skip Walker wants to hold your hand, gently stroke your back and casually mention that you have something stuck in your teeth. Skip Walker likes to take long, romantic walks to the drive-through window. Skip Walker is hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, trying to hollar at you. Skip Walker is going to start calling you by your new nickname, "Skip Walker."
Skip Walker is often accused of shifting blame to others but it's really not his fault. Skip Walker gets knocked down but he gets up again. Assuming he wasn't injured in the original fall. Skip Walker is keeping secrets from his watch because he forgot how to tell time. Skip Walker is done pretending and he's moving on to posttending. Skip Walker is creating a new online persona, which is a sassy black woman with the catch-phrase "corn fritters!" Skip Walker is going on vacation next door. Skip Walker is like, you know, planning on like visiting the Valley one day. Skip Walker used to play for the WNBA, back when they allowed men to join. Skip Walker is the guy yelling "get in the hole" right after every putt during a PGA event. Skip Walker will drive you to drink but he won't pick you up afterward. Skip Walker speaks with translucent words and you can see right through his lies. Skip Walker will tell your dry cleaner anything he wants to hear just to get into your pants.
Skip Walker has a hat made out of gold and it is weighing heavily on his mind. Skip Walker will sometimes talk about himself behind his back. Skip Walker is providing scuba gear to diver scallops and hoping for the best. Skip Walker is rocking out in a house made of granite. Skip Walker refuses to throw glass in his stone house. Skip Walker keeps his game stalag-tight. One time, Skip Walker made a bed out of patience and now he is lying in wait. Skip Walker noticed that his closet floor has some clothes that are off the hook. Skip Walker is a puzzle, for ages 3 and up. Skip Walker looks at himself in the mirror every day and simply says, "Yes." Skip Walker watches porn movies for the intricate and complex story lines. There is something about Skip Walker that just feels right. Skip Walker has made you some cookies and they are available here.
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