If you've been a reader of this website and the content posted on it for any length of time that spans more than two days, you're likely going to be extremely disappointed with today's update. Why? Well, for starters, it's not funny. In fact, it's about as far from funny as you can get without coming back around and being funny again. Of course, if you managed to actually read anything that I have written in the past six months, you've already come to expect a distinct lack of humor, but today is different. Today is on purpose. Today is serious. Trust me, I wish it wasn't.
We all know about the economy being in the toilet. Regardless of where we walk in life, it's impacted all of us to some degree. Well, some more than others but the point is that we all feel it. I was trying to do something good. I was trying to provide some security for myself and family in the event things decided to turn sour for us. It's always better to prepare while you can than to try and climb out of the ditch later.
Early last month, I started up a business relationship with a gentleman who we'll call Paul. Paul and his backers had a great, local investment plan that promised excellent returns and it sounded foolproof. Yes, I'm not stupid. I know all the schemes and scams. This wasn't one of them. It involved flipping some low-rent condos in an area who's real estate market was on the rise. Obviously, when people make less, the lower income areas start to flourish. I saw the diagrams. I did independent research. It looked good. So I invested. Not a lot -- I don't have a lot -- but I invested. It was enough to set me back if I didn't see a return. But of course I would see a return. I'd have to see something.
Unfortunately, that "something" wasn't the something that I wanted.
I was visited at my home last night by some very nicely dressed gentlemen flashing badges. The brought with them a letter and the wonderful news that thanks to my investment activities, I am now under investigation for participating in a large scale fraud scheme. The letter provided more details and a number of state and federal regulations that I've apparently broken. None of them were good. The word "indictment" was thrown around a lot. Pending investigation, of course. I tried to proclaim innocence/ignorance in this scenario as I haven't actually profited from this endeavor. I was advised of my rights and quickly shut up.
They eventually left but not before casually mentioning that a subpoena was in the works for access to my email accounts and bank records. I can only hope that Chase lost the latter during the merger. So, with my communication being monitored, I was told during a brief meeting with my new lawyer this morning that I should not make any more public announcements (read: these updates) until things settle down. And by "settle down" he meant either "goes away" or "I'm in jail with a burly room mate for a long while." Granted, if it's the latter, I won't be making any public statements for years anyway.
So I wait, nervously, which I might have a lot more time to do very soon. Thanks to the long arm of the law and the depth of their "investigation" they managed to inform the upper management at work of my scenario. Amidst frowns and furrowed brows, I've learned that I might be let go regardless if anything substantial come out of the investigation. They don't want to deal with the hassle. Talk about adding insult to injury. Now I am out my investment money and possibly the potential to pay back all of the debt I'm incurring fighting this. Since I am facing potentially massive court/legal fees and still need to find some way to provide support for my newly-pregnant wife, losing my job right now isn't quite the ideal "surprise" that I was looking for. Well, actually, I can't think of anything ideal about any aspect of this revelation.
This sucks.
So, with all of that said, consider this the last update in what could possibly be a very long while. I have no idea what the immediate future holds since that future is ultimately up to how good the authorities can investigate. I don't feel that I did anything wrong but I may be unable to fight the charges if I can't afford to do so. I'd sell my car if it was paid off but, of course, it's not. I'd rather make some shitty investments in what turned out to be quite the scheme than pay off my own debts. For that, I am sorry. I'm sorry to my wife and everyone else who I've let down.
I really fucked up this time.
We all know about the economy being in the toilet. Regardless of where we walk in life, it's impacted all of us to some degree. Well, some more than others but the point is that we all feel it. I was trying to do something good. I was trying to provide some security for myself and family in the event things decided to turn sour for us. It's always better to prepare while you can than to try and climb out of the ditch later.
Early last month, I started up a business relationship with a gentleman who we'll call Paul. Paul and his backers had a great, local investment plan that promised excellent returns and it sounded foolproof. Yes, I'm not stupid. I know all the schemes and scams. This wasn't one of them. It involved flipping some low-rent condos in an area who's real estate market was on the rise. Obviously, when people make less, the lower income areas start to flourish. I saw the diagrams. I did independent research. It looked good. So I invested. Not a lot -- I don't have a lot -- but I invested. It was enough to set me back if I didn't see a return. But of course I would see a return. I'd have to see something.
Unfortunately, that "something" wasn't the something that I wanted.
I was visited at my home last night by some very nicely dressed gentlemen flashing badges. The brought with them a letter and the wonderful news that thanks to my investment activities, I am now under investigation for participating in a large scale fraud scheme. The letter provided more details and a number of state and federal regulations that I've apparently broken. None of them were good. The word "indictment" was thrown around a lot. Pending investigation, of course. I tried to proclaim innocence/ignorance in this scenario as I haven't actually profited from this endeavor. I was advised of my rights and quickly shut up.
They eventually left but not before casually mentioning that a subpoena was in the works for access to my email accounts and bank records. I can only hope that Chase lost the latter during the merger. So, with my communication being monitored, I was told during a brief meeting with my new lawyer this morning that I should not make any more public announcements (read: these updates) until things settle down. And by "settle down" he meant either "goes away" or "I'm in jail with a burly room mate for a long while." Granted, if it's the latter, I won't be making any public statements for years anyway.
So I wait, nervously, which I might have a lot more time to do very soon. Thanks to the long arm of the law and the depth of their "investigation" they managed to inform the upper management at work of my scenario. Amidst frowns and furrowed brows, I've learned that I might be let go regardless if anything substantial come out of the investigation. They don't want to deal with the hassle. Talk about adding insult to injury. Now I am out my investment money and possibly the potential to pay back all of the debt I'm incurring fighting this. Since I am facing potentially massive court/legal fees and still need to find some way to provide support for my newly-pregnant wife, losing my job right now isn't quite the ideal "surprise" that I was looking for. Well, actually, I can't think of anything ideal about any aspect of this revelation.
This sucks.
So, with all of that said, consider this the last update in what could possibly be a very long while. I have no idea what the immediate future holds since that future is ultimately up to how good the authorities can investigate. I don't feel that I did anything wrong but I may be unable to fight the charges if I can't afford to do so. I'd sell my car if it was paid off but, of course, it's not. I'd rather make some shitty investments in what turned out to be quite the scheme than pay off my own debts. For that, I am sorry. I'm sorry to my wife and everyone else who I've let down.
I really fucked up this time.