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For many of us who use the internet regularly, we'd all be a little more lost if it wasn't for Google. The vast amount of information at our fingertips is incredible and growing larger with every second. Maybe you're curious about the lyrics to your new favorite song or the mating habits of mallards. Chances are you don't know the answers so you turn to Google.

Google recently unveiled a new feature called "Suggestions" which types out suggested search items for you in real time, thereby saving you the trouble of actually having to complete a sentence. Each suggestion also shows the total number of search results that exist for that phrase. Unfortunately, not all of these suggestions are really on target with what you're searching for. So, today, we have a little fun with Google's new feature.

Are you single and desperately looking for love? Google may have the answer as to why you're having trouble finding a mate. If you're not a black man or a white guy, this may explain it. However, becoming a DJ clearly tops them all. Bonus points if you're a white DJ.

As deeply saddened as I am that there exists over 47 million results relating to the question of whether women are humans, I think that the real travesty here is the fact that women may potentially be marginalized in South African sport. I didn't know that South Africa had sports, let alone women.

Anti-Christ, Muslim, terrorist? Such lies. Now, Barack Obama being Irish and my new bicycle, those are things I can stand behind!

Hmm, I seem to have just lit my face on fire. I better search google and find out what to do.

Youtube not working and ipod sync issues rule the day but the real question is why doesn't God come down off of his high horse and heal all of the amputees. I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one wondering.

The amount of effort it would take it type out "what do you get when you multiply six by nine" in a Google search box is clearly much less than it would take to start the calculator program on your PC. At least more than 500,000 people thought so and decided that question was so important, web pages needed to be made about it. What about five by nine? Where's the love? Also, what do you do with a drunken sailor? Anything you want, I guess.

Spiderman better be real if he's going to be having me for dinner tonight. I hate being stood up.

Economy? Unemployment? Nah, that's not what is bugging society right now. We're running around on the internet wondering why we can't own a Canadian or finish our waffle. Those are the issues that are important to us.

What is a question? Good qu--, hrm. Nice qu--... what the hell is that thing called that you just asked? Christ, I wish I knew! Perhaps I can go on a quest to find out such information. If only I knew what a quest was...

Sure, I could ask you about your kids or dinosaurs but today I think I am more interested in your wiener or explosive diarrhea. Also, more than 400,000 have a page somewhere out there on the internet discussing their wiener and yet choose to spell it incorrectly. Last I checked, Google auto-corrects, you know.

A fourth of July in England? Yes, I'm sure they can't wait for that time of year to come around and celebrate the fact that they got whooped up on by a bunch of renegade colonists. Thankfully, myself, much like most other Americans, are more concerned about whether Disney plans on making another High School Musical installment.

Yeah, why is it called the White House? Racial conspiracy I bet! Also, black Friday. Everything has to be so damned racial! Google, help me out!

Google knows everything. Actually, looking at the picture, it would appear that a lot of people know where you left your keys, so I would wager that your car is no longer where you parked it either. Also, if you had your camera and ipod in your car, I bet your wishing you invested in Lojack right about now.

That's just about all of the time we have for suggestions today. However, this topic is a never-ending fountain of amusement and another edition may follow soon. I've got the questions as long as Google has the answers.

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